So I’m up this early in the morning watching the lunar eclipse. I got up, put on jacket and went outside. I looked up and felt at peace. I remember when I was little I wanted to be astronomer. I was obsessed with learning about space. I even had this book that was only about 70 pages or so but I would reread it over and over again. I’m sure at one point I had most of it memorized. But today as I looked up, I also felt a sense of sadness.
For years I asked my mom for a telescope. She always insisted that we lived in the city and that I wouldn’t be able to see anything. After years putting in a telescope as my birthday and christmas request I finally stopped asking. Now, I’m not trying to blame my mom for anything. I’m certain that she was trying to let me down easy. After all, it is easier for everyone to say that we live in the city and can’t see anything than say that you just don’t have enough money for that. I know that is why I never got one.
Needless to say, I’ll always love space science and I still hold it near and dear to my heart. But on days like this I remember how it was to truly be passionate about something and nothing depresses me more than realizing that I don’t dream big anymore.
To this day I still don’t own a telescope. I don’t think I knew until today but I still truly want one.